We all get frustrated and we feel like it’s inevitable. Sometimes it starts right when you wake up, and the whole day is ruined. You know you will spend a bad day. Have you ever wondered why we get frustrated?
The reason is that something didn’t go as WE expected. Always. The secret to never being frustrated again is simply to let go, and change our perspective. This trick has saved me a lot of frustration! But let me tell you more.
1. What causes frustration
We always think that life happens TO us. Like it’s just bad luck. But what creates suffering is not the events or the circumstances, it is us, when we resist it. When we expect something from a situation. When we say it should go that way.
For instance. Today your boss yelled at you. This is a fact, this is the situation. Now there are several ways to react. The first way, you can get offended, you can get angry because he shouldn’t talk to you like that, you’ve been working hard! Another way: you think that your boss might have bigger issues if he yells at you like that. So he yells at you, but you don’t take it personally.
Same situation, but 2 different reactions. You do not control what happens, but you do control how you react. So it’s not the situation that creates pain or frustration, it’s your beliefs, it’s your expectation (I’m not saying let everybody yell at you, you can still tell them it’s not okay, and don’t take it personally).
It is the meaning we give to events. Another example: you feel pain in your arm. Good or bad? Frustrated or not? It depends on the meaning you give to it. It can be “bad” if it’s an injury. It can be “good” if you just got surgery and it means your arm and nerves are getting better.
So every time we feel frustration it’s because we think it SHOULD happen this way, it’s because we expect something to happen. Think about it, every time you’re frustrated or suffering, it’s because an event didn’t go as you planned, or as you expected.
2. How to never being frustrated again
Now that we know that we have the power to decide to be frustrated or not, here is what you can do.
Let’s split the events in 2 categories.
The events that you can’t affect
For instance, the weather, traffic jams, being stuck at the airport. These kinds of events, you can’t do anything about it. So it’s a waste of time to complain about it. Like “Oh my god it’s raining again today, I’m so angry”. If you think about it, you’ll see that complaining is not improving the situation. The only thing to do is to accept it. This saved me a lot of energy.
The events that you can affect
Here again, you have to let go first. It’s not useful to dwell on what just happened. Accept it, don’t blame yourself or others, don’t blame your life or the universe, and think about how you can act to improve the situation.
Letting go doesn’t mean resigning yourself. It doesn’t mean you have to accept passively everything. It simply means use your energy wisely, by accepting what already happened and acting towards a better output.
For instance, if you don’t have enough money to pay the rent this month. You might start by saying: “oh my god, I don’t have enough money, I don’t know how I will make it until the end of the month, I’m such a failure”, etc… A much more effective way would be: “Okay, I need money to pay my rent this month, how can I get this money?”.
To Sum up
To sum up: if you can’t change a situation, then just accept it, let go. If you can change anything, do it.
I’m not saying I never get frustrated now. It’s still hard, but it’s a process, you have to pay attention all the time because it’s so easy to get caught again in the old scheme. Anytime something “bad” happens, it’s easy to think it’s happening to us, that we have bad luck. But the truth is that events just happen, that’s it. There is no good or bad. It’s only your choice.
Stuff happens, you have no power over it. The only power you have is how you react to it. You can ALWAYS choose how to react. And that’s your superpower. That’s the secret to never being frustrated again.
So I encourage you to:
- Notice when you’re frustrated, and ask yourself why? (it will be because your expectation was not met)
- If you can’t change anything, just let go, accept it.
- If you can change something, just do it.
I hope you enjoyed this article! If so, please share it with as many people as possible! This trick was a game changer for me.