If you’re trying to improve your life in any category, you might be familiar with the idea of positive affirmations. It’s a topic I’ve been reading about many times since I’m interested in improving my quality of life.
But most of the time, positive affirmations don’t work for me. And I just realized that there is a reason for that, and that I’m not alone. What’s more, there is something better to do instead, and it’s called positive interrogations.
1. Why positive affirmations don’t work
First, a positive affirmation is anything like “I am confident”, “I am wealthy”, “I enjoy doing sports”. Pretty simple. The main reason it doesn’t work is because we forget about our unconscious. Indeed, if you say “I am confident”, but deep down inside you, there is the unconscious belief that you are not, saying it will only make things worse.
It has actually the opposite effect because when you don’t believe something, your brain will automatically look for past experiences reinforcing the belief you have. For example. You repeat “I am confident”, but you don’t believe it. So memories of the past when you were not confident at all will start to emerge. And you’re just reinforcing the lack of confidence. Let’s take a stronger example.
The picture below is a red car, right?
Now, if you try to say “the car is black”. Will it work? No, because the belief that the car is red is firmly rooted. All your past experiences taught you what’s red. That is why positive affirmations don’t work all the time.
So instead of forcing our brain to think in a way, it’s better to use it, and the way you do it is by asking questions.
2. Use positive interrogations first
Instead of using statements, the trick is to actually use the power of our brain. We just have to use a powerful tool: questions.
Let’s take the example of the car again. What if now, I ask myself “How could this car be black?”. We could say “well, I can paint it in black” or “I can use a blue light so that the car would appear black”. You’re now open to ideas, to new paths, and you are looking for solutions. You are not looking in your past beliefs anymore, but you are looking for future solutions.
The same goes for being confident. Instead of saying “I am confident”, and creating more struggle, you could say: “how can I be more confident?”, “Why am I confident?”, “Why is it easy for me to be confident?”. Now you’re looking for answers! You might get memories where you were actually confident, you might say wait, other people like me are confident so I must be able as well.
By asking yourself powerful questions, you will rewire your brain. And then, when you have proof, when you have new connections, new belief, you can start to use positive affirmations. But not before! Remember, as long as you don’t believe it, at least a little, it’s very unlikely to work.
3. How to use this trick
You can use positive interrogations in any part of your life, in any challenge you have, in any area you want to improve. It will allow yourself to focus on solutions instead of problems, and you will create new connections in your brain, you will replace your beliefs.
I feel like it has been the missing link for me for a long time, so I wanted to share it with you, as I find it very powerful. Because when you’re not feeling good, and you start to force yourself to think “I am happy, I am happy”, it never works. Actually, you just think “NO I’M NOT!”.
And by the way, if you read my article Self-Love Is Key To Happiness, saying “Why do I love myself” might be easier to start with, since you may have a hard time to believe that you love yourself at first.
Thank you for reading this post, please share and comment if you got value from it!