Too often, we forget about the importance of our state. We only focus on our words, on what to say. Would you agree that the same message, said with two different states of self, come across very differently? Imagine someone giving a motivational speech. In the first version, he is enthusiastic and full of energy. In the second version, he looks full of doubt and kind of sad. Which one is the most effective, even though the words are the same? It’s obvious, right?
But we too often forget this. I want to share why it’s so important and how we can benefit from this with a quick technique.
1. The importance of state of self
Words are only a fraction of what’s communicated. State of self and body language are much more important. Because your state determines how you will act, how you will show up, and how you will speak.
Imagine you’re about to have an interview for a new job. You’re sitting, nervous, in the waiting room. You’ve rehearsed the typical questions, your qualities, your flaws. You think you’re ready, but you’re very nervous. What if the interview goes wrong? What if you don’t get it? You’re trapped inside of your head. And that’s because you’re only thinking about words. You’re only focused on all the worst-case scenarios. So if you see yourself as clumsy, nervous, doubtful, how do you think that your interviewer will see you? He will see a projection of your mind. A nervous person.
So, we get it, it’s obvious, the state in which we are is very important and determines how we feel and how we act. But how can we change it, fast?
2. A simple way to shift your state to a positive one
The good thing about state is that we can change it very fast. Let me share my experience with you.
The mind and body are connected. How we move influences how we feel and how we think. And the other way around is true as well. You can test it right now. Stand up, cross your arms and look down. You should feel a lack of energy, doubt, and closed. But now, stand up, put your arms to the side, with your palms facing front. Chin up, and take a deep breath. You should feel more open, confident, and more energy.
So the good news is that we can shift our state very quickly. You start with the body, your posture, and then you go on with your thoughts, by focusing on the positive instead of the negative.
Let’s take the interview example again. Much better preparation would be: stand and have a confident posture, at least try to have it. Then, instead of focusing on how everything could go wrong, focus on how and why you’re able to perform well. Read my article about positive interrogation again, it can help. So you might ask “how can I give my best today?”, “why am I capable of getting this job?”. By doing this preparation, you will feel much more confident and in a much better state. It’s very powerful, and it’s fast.
I’ve used it a lot recently, for any kind of situation where I might feel anxious. It’s just practice. I have been surprised by how at first you’re kind of faking it, and then it becomes natural. We often tell stories about ourselves, in our head, but it’s just our perception. We can change.
3. One key takeaway
If you were to remember only one thing, the key here is very simple: “think about how the perfect version of you would act and think in a particular situation. Then, start doing it right now”.
It’s that simple, so go ahead and try! And please share with me your perspective on this topic!