Change Reality With The Reticular Activating System

Change Reality With The Reticular Activating System

We often think life happens to us, and that our perception is our reality. That it’s just the way it is. But let me show you that what you perceive as the reality is actually your version of it, it’s very subjective.

This is called the law of attraction (more spiritual), or the RAS: reticular activating system (more scientific). It simply means that we get what we focus on. The good news is then that you can bend reality.

1. The RAS is our brain filter

The RAS is like a filter, our brain will select only a few information from the outside world, because otherwise there would be too much to analyze. Our brain shows us what we decide to focus on. But an example is much better than words to understand it. Watch the short video below!

Whether you already knew the video or just discovered it, it’s a clear example of how our brain notices what we focus on. And it works with everything. It’s the same when you discover a new car model and start noticing it everywhere!

 The good news is that you can choose what to focus on, and then change the reality with the reticular activating system!

2. We too often focus on the negative

Let’s face it, most of the time, we tend to focus on negative things. Have you ever noticed how we choose to focus on “bad” things? When I was a kid, I would have let’s say 9 good grades and 1 bad grade, but do you think I chose to focus on the 9? No, I focused on the one that was bad. Sounds silly right? But we all do it.

The problem with this is that we just saw that we get what we focus on. So the more I focus on the bad grade, the more I will be obsessed with it, and the bigger the chances are that I will get another one. It’s the same with all our problems. If you focus on the problem, you will get more of the problem.That’s why Mother Teresa was not against the war, but she was for peace.

3. Focus on what you want instead

You get what you focus on. So even if you focus on what you don’t want, you will get it. You have to tell your brain what you want! Do not focus on the fact you’re not rich, focus on how it would feel to have more money. Ask yourself how you can earn more.

So, for any problem you have, try to catch yourself every time you’re focused on the negative. Again, it’s a process, it’s practice. You can read my article on positive affirmations, to shift your focus from the problem to the solution. And it’s really working, I’m using it every day! For instance, since I started to write articles, I now notice all kind of topics I could write about, without having to think that much about it.

Let me give you another example. Let’s say someone annoys you. You probably know the feeling when even the most innocent joke annoys you? Maybe it became physical, you just can’t stand this person. That’s because of the RAS. You’re filtering this person’s actions to select only the behaviors that are annoying. So that your brain can find evidence of what you’re looking for. You are then reinforcing the belief that this person is annoying, you have proof! So Instead of focusing on everything he or she did to annoy you, try no notice the nice things about this person.

4. Just practice!

You have the power, the power to decide what to focus on. This is the only thing that no one else or nothing else has control over. YOU get to decide. You can change reality with the reticular activating system. No matter what happens, you get to choose what to focus on.

So go ahead and focus on the positive side. Every morning when you wake up, why not focus on the fact that we’re alive and breathing? Instead of immediately starting the day by thinking about all our problems!

Self-Love Is Key To Happiness

self-love is key to happiness

Okay, now it’s something that I’m kind of scared to share, because it’s not a topic we usually talk about, and it’s sometimes perceived as narcissism. But I believe it is the one and only key to live a better life. I discovered it’s the source of everything: I want to talk about self-love.

I want to share with you how I came to that insight, how it can improve your life and some practices I’m using.

1. Why self-love is key to happiness

First, I believe that we all suffer from a lack of self-love, at some point in our lives. I’m not talking about loving yourself so much that you’re arrogant and you don’t value other people. No, I’m talking about genuine love, genuine compassion.

When I talk about a lack of self-love, I mean all kind of conversation with ourselves that is not kind and helpful. Such as:

  • When you blame yourself from something you did
  • When you’re afraid of what people will think of you
  • When you believe you do not deserve success, health or wealth
  • When you’re feeling a lack of confidence, etc

All these situations, all the negative talk that we have with ourselves, it comes from a lack of self-love. Just think about it and you’ll see it’s true.

I discovered it myself in my journey of trying to improve my quality of life. One of the things that I struggled with, and that I still struggle with to this day, is the fear of being judged. You know, to be accepted, to fit in. I wanted to be able to assume my actions, be proud of the path that I’m on today, which is becoming an online entrepreneur. Sometimes I get a lot of negative feedback and I’d just rather not talk about it. So I started to research about authenticity, and self-love came up.

I followed the path, and I realized: no matter what big plans I have for the future, or no matter what I try to achieve, it doesn’t matter. Indeed, if I do not love myself enough to be able to enjoy my dreams, or to dare to take action, it will be very hard. For instance: imagine your dream is to be a public speaker. You are probably going to face a lot of judgment and rejection. You will then need a big amount of self-love, to be immune to this and keep going.

That’s why I believe that self-love is key to happiness. I can’t think of one situation where self-love is not required. I would like to expand on how life could be for us if self-love was our main priority.

2. What happens when self-love is your priority

Imagine being immune to what other people think. This is what self-love can do. Knowing that the only important opinion is your opinion. The opinions of other people are just opinions. They exist in their world, in their mind, with their systems of beliefs and value. Why should we care so much about them? Just love yourself and choose what is best for you.

Imagine having the confidence to try new thing, to be willing to “fail”. If you love yourself, you will know that the failure is not you, it’s just an event, it’s just a result, and you will not identify yourself with it. You will know you did your best. And you will be willing to do it again, differently.

Imagine not having to please people anymore. Not having to pretend you are someone else, just to fit in. When you love yourself, you are just happy with who you are and you don’t want to change that.

Imagine loving yourself, and not being needy for someone else’s love. When you love yourself, you are not dependent on the validation of another person. You can love without expecting anything in return, and that is a sane relationship to have.

Imagine talking to yourself in a gentle way, being kind. Not the way we are so used to talk. Like self-depreciation, blaming, judging our thoughts and our bodies. Imagine loving your body, loving your mind. You will automatically choose to put healthy food in your body, and consume healthy content/information! The person we spend most of our time with is ourselves. In our mind. Of course, we want to have a loving relationship with this person!

These are the main reasons why I believe self-love is key to happiness. It’s really the basis of all success. Remember when you were a child? You were always happy! And have you ever seen a sad tree? A depressed bird? No! Loving ourselves is our natural state of being.

I want now to share some tools and resources with you, to get you started on that path.

3. Tools and practice

  • First, the most important I guess, is our self-talk. As I said, it is the biggest part because we constantly talk to ourselves. So be attentive, be mindful, and watch your thoughts. You can ask yourself this question: “If I truly and deeply loved myself, would I let myself experience this?”. And remember, self-love is a practice, as much as exercising. It’s not a unique event.
  • Repeat as much as possible a positive thought in your head. It’s just a matter of it becoming automatic and overwriting other negative thoughts. Just choose something that works for you. I started with “I love myself”. You may not believe it at first, as I did. But just keep going. Now I’m using “I am love”, because it removes the division between my ego and myself, and it resonates more.
  • This one is powerful but I might sound crazy! Just look at yourself in the mirror, very close, and stare at one eye. Don’t be afraid! It’s just you! And start repeating “I love myself” (or what works for you). You’re speaking directly to your soul.
  • Finally, I want to give you the name of 2 great books. Most of the insights and techniques I’m using and sharing here are coming from these books. So make sure to read them if you want to learn even more.

I hope you enjoyed this post and that it brought you as much value as I get from all these discoveries. If you like it make sure to drop a comment or share the post!

The Secret To Never Being Frustrated Again

the-secret-to-never-being-frustrated-again

We all get frustrated and we feel like it’s inevitable. Sometimes it starts right when you wake up, and the whole day is ruined. You know you will spend a bad day. Have you ever wondered why we get frustrated?

The reason is that something didn’t go as WE expected. Always. The secret to never being frustrated again is simply to let go, and change our perspective. This trick has saved me a lot of frustration! But let me tell you more.

1. What causes frustration

We always think that life happens TO us. Like it’s just bad luck. But what creates suffering is not the events or the circumstances, it is us, when we resist it. When we expect something from a situation. When we say it should go that way.

For instance. Today your boss yelled at you. This is a fact, this is the situation. Now there are several ways to react. The first way, you can get offended, you can get angry because he shouldn’t talk to you like that, you’ve been working hard! Another way: you think that your boss might have bigger issues if he yells at you like that. So he yells at you, but you don’t take it personally.

Same situation, but 2 different reactions. You do not control what happens, but you do control how you react. So it’s not the situation that creates pain or frustration, it’s your beliefs, it’s your expectation (I’m not saying let everybody yell at you, you can still tell them it’s not okay, and don’t take it personally).

It is the meaning we give to events. Another example: you feel pain in your arm. Good or bad? Frustrated or not? It depends on the meaning you give to it. It can be “bad” if it’s an injury. It can be “good” if you just got surgery and it means your arm and nerves are getting better.

So every time we feel frustration it’s because we think it SHOULD happen this way, it’s because we expect something to happen. Think about it, every time you’re frustrated or suffering, it’s because an event didn’t go as you planned, or as you expected.

2. How to never being frustrated again

Now that we know that we have the power to decide to be frustrated or not, here is what you can do.

Let’s split the events in 2 categories.

The events that you can’t affect

For instance, the weather, traffic jams, being stuck at the airport. These kinds of events, you can’t do anything about it. So it’s a waste of time to complain about it. Like “Oh my god it’s raining again today, I’m so angry”. If you think about it, you’ll see that complaining is not improving the situation. The only thing to do is to accept it. This saved me a lot of energy.

The events that you can affect

Here again, you have to let go first. It’s not useful to dwell on what just happened. Accept it, don’t blame yourself or others, don’t blame your life or the universe, and think about how you can act to improve the situation.

Letting go doesn’t mean resigning yourself. It doesn’t mean you have to accept passively everything. It simply means use your energy wisely, by accepting what already happened and acting towards a better output.

For instance, if you don’t have enough money to pay the rent this month. You might start by saying: “oh my god, I don’t have enough money, I don’t know how I will make it until the end of the month, I’m such a failure”, etc… A much more effective way would be: “Okay, I need money to pay my rent this month, how can I get this money?”.

To Sum up

To sum up: if you can’t change a situation, then just accept it, let go. If you can change anything, do it.

I’m not saying I never get frustrated now. It’s still hard, but it’s a process, you have to pay attention all the time because it’s so easy to get caught again in the old scheme. Anytime something “bad” happens, it’s easy to think it’s happening to us, that we have bad luck. But the truth is that events just happen, that’s it. There is no good or bad. It’s only your choice.

Stuff happens, you have no power over it. The only power you have is how you react to it. You can ALWAYS choose how to react. And that’s your superpower. That’s the secret to never being frustrated again.

So I encourage you to:

  • Notice when you’re frustrated, and ask yourself why? (it will be because your expectation was not met)
  • If you can’t change anything, just let go, accept it.
  • If you can change something, just do it.

I hope you enjoyed this article! If so, please share it with as many people as possible! This trick was a game changer for me.

Right Path Is Following Your Voice

windy road with follow your voice message

Study, work hard, buy a car, life is hard… This is what our society tells us. Somewhere inside you, something disagrees with this… But it’s a distant voice. What if listening to this voice was the key to a meaningful life? I really believe it is.

There’s got to be more to life than this

You’ve done everything you were supposed to. You went to school, you got a job, you work long hours. You played the whole game. How come you do not feel fulfilled? It’s quite the opposite actually!

There is this little voice in your head saying “there’s got to be more to life than this!”, “it cannot just be it!”

But in the end, maybe it’s just a voice, after all, all the people around me don’t seem to be lost, they work, they buy houses, they say life is hard and it’s normal… So maybe that is what we are supposed to do!

So you get back to work. But a few months later, the voice is back. You just feel trapped, you feel like you’re missing something, you start to become crazy! You don’t want to do it anymore, you need a change, but you don’t even know what to do!

I played the whole game as well. I studied hard for 2 years, I remember that I went out to a party only 3 times during those years! Then I carried on and did another 3 years of study. I became an engineer and I found my first job! I had a good salary, responsibilities, I lived 5 minutes away from work. The paradise right? Why was I miserable then? I remember binge watching The Walking Dead, while eating saucisson (yes I’m French), trying to feel a little excitement!

So let me tell you that the voice was there for me too: but I refused to believe that it’s just how life is.

Searching for an answer

So you start to listen to that voice. Because it becomes more and more present, and now it’s on a physical level. You start to feel anxiety, stress, you’re exhausted. So you have to do something! But what? I remember thinking, what should I even do with my life? And I started to look on Google, Youtube, asking friends. I was looking for the answer, and I thought someone had it. Something was wrong with me and I wanted to know what it was.

I was at a point where I quit my job, went travelling for 1 year in New Zealand, big leap for me, and then I came back to France. I was still not sure of what I was doing, but I had the feeling I was progressing. I felt like swimming against the current, because it was not the standard path. Everybody was scared for me, thought I was doing a mistake.

But I kept looking! Kept trying things, kept following that voice, and then, a major breakthrough occurred for me.

Only you can discover your right path

I realized that nobody could give me the answer. And that I had to follow the little voice in my head (sorry if this sounds cliché!). Because we are told that any problem can be solved by someone. I mean it’s completely fine to seek help, go to see a doctor for instance, but let’s not forget that they are human too, and we should always question what we are told. The only person who knows what’s best for you, is YOU!

Only YOU have the answers. Own your life, do not expect someone to say what you have to do. I used to think that someone would tell me what to do. But when you realize that nobody will never know the answer to your particular problem, and that you know better than anyone else what’s best for you, then you recover your power. Because now you can take action! You can take responsibility!

By following my own path, my own voice, sure I made mistakes. But I have now the feeling that I’m on the right path, and at least these are my decisions! I didn’t know what to expect from these decisions, but I knew they were right for me. And today, I feel I’m where I belong. And I’m glad that I finally found something more to life than just work for money. Do not listen to people, do what you feel is right for you, even if people around you disagree. By doing so, you will end up on the right path.

Time to shine!

So here is my message today: follow your own voice, it’s here for a reason. We are told and taught to silence this voice. We are told that it’s a distraction. Actually, it’s your best friend. So please, follow your own voice and get on the right path.

If you want to discuss it more, pop out a comment below!